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About Photography / Hobbyist Bigger is betterFemale/Canada Recent Activity
Deviant for 3 Years
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  • Mood: Regretful
Didn't sleep at all last night. I ended up getting into a fight very late last night/early morning with a close friend and long-time supporter of my work, and after accidentally saying something hurtful, I have good reason to believe that I'll never hear from him again. I've been feeling horrible and sick all night, unable to get what had happened off my mind.

I can only hope that he reads this, and knows that I'm extremely apologetic about my idiocy, and that I didn't mean for the things that had been said to come out. There's no excuse for what I said, nor how I acted, and without him, there's a big hole in my life. I don't have many friends like him left, who I can actually be myself around, and to lose one as such is a big blow to my will to continue on with all of this.

Donate

TayvaRP has started a donation pool!
1,033 / 3,000
In an attempt to try and produce better quality photos and videos, I'll be starting a donation and commission campaign to try and work my way up to a DSLR video camera. The goal in mind is to try and get something that will allow me to produce higher quality videos for Youtube.

At this time I will be taking any cash or point donations, and will be doing commissions based around individual videos and live private sessions.

If you are interested in a commission or donation, please send me a private message. At this time I do not have my own paypal (and I don't intend on getting one in the future due to safety concerns), but I am able to borrow a friend's for use in accepting cash.

Goal:
$28 / $650

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Previous Donation Goals:
latex inflation suit

Previous Donators:
blindjustice
Squeezy100
*anonymous donor*

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Activity


  • Mood: Regretful
Didn't sleep at all last night. I ended up getting into a fight very late last night/early morning with a close friend and long-time supporter of my work, and after accidentally saying something hurtful, I have good reason to believe that I'll never hear from him again. I've been feeling horrible and sick all night, unable to get what had happened off my mind.

I can only hope that he reads this, and knows that I'm extremely apologetic about my idiocy, and that I didn't mean for the things that had been said to come out. There's no excuse for what I said, nor how I acted, and without him, there's a big hole in my life. I don't have many friends like him left, who I can actually be myself around, and to lose one as such is a big blow to my will to continue on with all of this.
  • Mood: Neglect
I've been thinking for the past few days on making my next video, and I've been wondering if it might be time for me to close up shop here on DeviantArt and YouTube. With things been really stretched tight as far as money goes, I have no way to get anything to make or improve new videos (new clothing, lighting, etc.), and after almost a month with trying to advertise my Patreon, I'm starting to see that my work's not 'good' enough to be funded, in the same way hand-drawn works are. Commissions have been accepted for quite some time now, but haven't had anything roll in at all. I've also been developing what I think might be a latex allergy, so that tosses other ideas out the window.

I dont know. Just looking at people I watch and the friends I've made, it's starting to grow painfully obvious that I'll never see the same sort of success as they've had, and with lacking in other talents and skills, I really don't seem to have anything else I could possibly offer.

I might think on this for a bit, but for the time being it seems that any 'popularity' or 'following' I had in the past is dead. No way to revive it at all. I'm thinking I might just even toss the three premium videos I've had sitting up somewhere for everyone to have, since obviously nobody's willing to chip a buck my way to grab one.
Trying to work on getting myself together for a new video after some recent issues arose knocked me back down into my 'low' state. Things have come up recently (social problems), and my mind has unfortunately not been in a good place to get progress done with filming. I assure you though that despite my problems, I haven't forgotten to put something up.

deviantID

TayvaRP
Bigger is better
Artist | Hobbyist | Photography
Canada
I enjoy making and photographing my inflation suits for the community. I would love to make these to help support my financial situation in college for Media Production however.
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Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconzombie-spartan:
Zombie-Spartan Featured By Owner May 17, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello ^^ I love your inflation suit :)
Reply
:icontayvarp:
TayvaRP Featured By Owner May 17, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconjuacoproductionsarts:
JuacoProductionsArts Featured By Owner May 15, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hi there
Reply
:icontayvarp:
TayvaRP Featured By Owner May 15, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Heya
Reply
:iconjuacoproductionsarts:
JuacoProductionsArts Featured By Owner May 15, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's been a while we haven't talked.
Reply
:icontayvarp:
TayvaRP Featured By Owner May 15, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
yeah, I've been on a personal break away from things since college became stressful
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconviolin100:
Violin100 Featured By Owner May 10, 2015
Hey Tayva How are you doing? I am wanting to ask you about purchasing either your suit or suites. Get back to me so we can talk more. I miss our conversations. 
Reply
:icontayvarp:
TayvaRP Featured By Owner May 13, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Im not on here much anymore unfortunately, though I'll try to be on Skype more often to compensate
Reply
:iconviolin100:
Violin100 Featured By Owner May 16, 2015
It's OK. I am just hoping to talk more with you soon. I am on Skype right now for a bit to talk, and I will be on Skype more with college done and after my mother goes back home to Illinois. 
Reply
:icontayvarp:
TayvaRP Featured By Owner May 16, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Ah okay. I think I might have just missed you on there unfortunately (I just got home a few hours ago volunteering for an event, so Ive been passed out in bed)
Reply
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