Didn't sleep at all last night. I ended up getting into a fight very late last night/early morning with a close friend and long-time supporter of my work, and after accidentally saying something hurtful, I have good reason to believe that I'll never hear from him again. I've been feeling horrible and sick all night, unable to get what had happened off my mind.
I can only hope that he reads this, and knows that I'm extremely apologetic about my idiocy, and that I didn't mean for the things that had been said to come out. There's no excuse for what I said, nor how I acted, and without him, there's a big hole in my life. I don't have many friends like him left, who I can actually be myself around, and to lose one as such is a big blow to my will to continue on with all of this.